home sweet home

Staying home? Hard to answer the question that I get asked almost daily. How are you liking staying home with the kids? and Are you relieved to not be teaching anymore? Is it SO NICE to not have to work?

Well, while I won't be one of those women who demands a higher title or more recognition for all they do at home,......it has been difficult to sort out my feelings through it all. So I'll lay out some pros and cons- that I have found.....

We'll do the negative first so we can end on a good note.....

CONS:

1. You never get a break from your kids.

2. (especially when you have young ones....) You are in your home all day that you would love to clean, but your toddler undoes everything you accomplish.

3. I have to wake up my toddler from naptime (that she didn't successfully take) and go to the bus stop promptly or they will return my kindergartener to the school

4. Your marriage changes- unless you were doing this from the beginning

5. Work out time- GONE

6. Daily conversations- cut down to 1/8 of what you had (and must be voiced above 3 loud voices...)

7. Your strengths, talents, passions are put on the back burner (even more than before) and you really search for outlets for them to seep through

8. It really must be stated.....: Sometimes they just DRIVE me crazy!!!!

9. I really miss doing things I love. That I feel alive through. That I am praised for. That I can learn more and perfect...

10. My babysitter had 1/2 acre that they could play on with a tramp, outside playhouse, down stair romp room, pool, and other kids. I don't have much to suggest when they need to get their boy energy out....we just don't have much space and outside- it's 90 degrees with just a younger kid playground. They want to wrestle- then Libby jumps in and thinks she should hit others as a way to get them to play.....anyway- this is a dilemma. Tramp: possible Christmas idea.

BOTTOM LINE sacrifice

PROS: :):)

1. I'm not sternly saying, "WE have GOT to go.....or we are both going to be late if you don't put your shoes on!" e v e r y morning.

2. I am available. I'm available to do a favor for a friend whose daycare was closed one day and needed a sitter. I'm available to make treats for my hubs to take to work. I'm available to go to the grocery on the middle of a Monday for coupon reasons if I need to.

3. This one is one of my favorites. I can do homework with the kids. We are still trying to figure out what to do with Chatty Chatterson during this time, since she thinks she should be up at the table with them, in the loudest voice you can imagine.--Sometimes I put the Wiggles on and she is interested- others .....notsomuch.

4. Walking back from the bus stop- they debrief me from their day. By the time I used to pick them up- they were way past that and I got very little insight to their school experience.

5. I can volunteer in their classes. I finally have it worked out with a friend who has a girl Lib's age and we swap babysitting and go into our kids' classes.

6. The kids ask for their friends to come over---- and it's not an impossibility. It's difficult to have friends over when you're working. Having friends over was one of my favorite things as a kid. My mom was so great about it. It's a sacrifice too- but I think it's good for them

7. I can monitor and control what they do (t.v./video intake) what they eat, and who they are spending time with. I'm not all about control but when they are young- it's important.

8. I have a lot more influence on them now. I'm with them much more.

9. I don't have guilt about not doing my best. I know that this is where I should be now.

10. Okay- I'm trying to think of a 10th reason to balance the scales.....we can be outside, ride bikes, walks, parks, during light hours instead of me needing to make dinner as soon as we got home.....

I knew it would be hard. and it is. Some days are better than others. If you saw my dance pictures on facebook- that was one of the better days. But I'm on a mission to be real. I think so much of the time we look at pictures or talk with others and while we don't want to go around complaining all the time- we think everything must be perfect with someone.....you don't hear the bad stuff, and you see all these great pictures....

That's not me. I think I might start posting pictures of what my house looks like on some days. We (at least I) have this perception that no one else struggles with the things we do- since they're not talking about it. I have amazing kids, an amazing husband, supportive friends, and I am very blessed. But I struggle with parenting, I struggle with being at home sometimes, I struggle with trying to workout and stay healthy amidst this crazy schedule (and not eating the whole house as a stress relief while I'm home) and I struggle with hating my messy house that I try to put second to my kids. I try to capitalize on the good days so I will remember them when the bad ones roll in.

The pics above are of a sing/dance class that I go to with some friends weekly. It's at the public library and it's so cute. Sometimes Libby acts shy and doesn't want to do it. But she's been doing well for the most part. I get a wish list from Ian (shown above)and try to pick books out for them while we're there. Luke likes various storybooks.

So there you have it. That's where I'm at right now. (while I Libby screaming......who is on the third day with no nap) I end up having to get her up eventually for the bus stop so I think she is learning that she never has to go to sleep.

She used to be the BEST sleeper ever too.

Ahh, the joys.