Searching for hope

I wanted to unload all this last night- but I was too exhausted aftre 12 hours of being at school (student conferences) and then trying to cram in a days worth of love with my oldest son, Ian by laying with him to watch his new birthday Thomas the Train movie, then watching a movie with my parents who just drove in from Washington today, oh- and I think I got a few words in with my husband (who just got home from 2 basketballs games himself). Conferences are always so hard on our schedules, but they are over now until next fall. But the frustration of a disfunctional education system is still very present. Without getting on my soapbox, let me just express that it is so important that parents work so much with kids early on, and continue on through school. Early intervention can be saving grace to some kids with learning disabilities or other disabilities. I understand that in order to effectively upgrade a system it or make it better- things will change. Through that change- not everything may work like clockwork. But if it changes all the time and the clock is stopped, children are not benefitting from it- they are being hurt! I have never seen the importance of a well oiled machine more than this year with the group that I have. I know I have expressed this to many before- but it just seems like the hits keep coming for these kids. I'm desperately trying to go through the system the way they (whoever is in charge at the time- although it's usually hard to find the person that "really" knows) tell me to. Then- Oh!- small misunderstanding- (on their part) - this wasn't what we meant- this whole entire year is not sufficient data. It's February - (while the process was started in October) and you need to have 12 weeks of different data on these children to show that they aren't meeting adequate progress. Never mind the 20 weeks of data that you already collected. It is invalid. Never mind the fact that these kids should have been red flagged 1 or 2 years ago, but the process is so dang hard to get through that many teachers give up. Now I understand why. My heart just hurts for these kids. I felt like crying (and did) by the end of the night because what they need- I can't give them. I try to just remember they need my love more than anything, but with all the demands of my day and "score" pressure, and everything else we are required to do- it seems impossible to balance all the worlds. It feels like - wow- I need to find out what the real story is and get this school together- but nobody seems to know. Then I think- wow- I need to get on board with some people that have their act together- then I'd be giving up on all the faces at this school. The big picture of need is what hurts the most. Anyone is social service is present to this daily. I just cry out to God to help unravel this mess of sin and dysfunction in our world. I want to have hope- but it feels hopeless when our system fails them as well as their parents, their world and their minds. Where are you God for this? How can I help them?