The big 26.....okay,okay....27.

Well today I celebrated my 27th birthday. Wow, could that be possible, since I just was living the dramatic, exciting, fun-filled high school days.....? I was just 16. I was just enjoying the freedom of an easy paycheck, weekends filled with friends and events, shopping, eating out, always somewhere to go, something to do and someone fun to do it with - and I loved every minute of it. (minus high school heartache). But even that got me where I am today.
High school was an amazing time. Being young, having great friends, and being secure in myself were a great combination for some amazing times. I know not everyone has that experience, but for me, it was paradise. College- not the same. I made some life long and meaningful friends in college, and I had a good time, but it was different for me. I was ready for the next step, when many were just beginning the last. I met Jer my freshman year and he was already done with college. I worked and lived off campus my 2nd year. Then I got married, so it was really just a means for an end for me. Then after college, I got my 1st teaching job, and was pregnant. Survived my first year and Ian was born 6 1/2 weeks early. He hung out in the NICU for 18 days and then came home with us hooked up to a heart monitor. I remember waking up through the night to the sound of a smoke detector. Nope- just Ian's heart monitor going off, probably because the wires came lose or something. It was a tough time. Then Ian finally began growing and chunking up to a 99 percentile baby within months. Good thing my kids come out small- because they don't stay like that for long!
Ian was just a baby, (9 months) and we were having coffee on a Sunday morning before church at the local Moxie. I mentioned to Jer that my period hadn't come in awhile. I couldn't possibly be pregnant, because we were on birth control. But I told him that I'd go next store to Albertson's get a test, and set our minds at ease.
I remember the walk over there. I took the test and was so shocked to see the results. Devastated. I didn't know what to feel or do. I just began crying in the bathroom and made the lonely walk back to the coffee shop. As soon as Jer saw my tears, he must have known. We drove around for awhile, and skipped church to process our recent development. It was a such a jolt to our already overwhelming lives. So- my 2nd year of teaching, I was pregnant again. The pregnancy was back and forth, with bed rest and constant ultra sounds. They thought I had an incompetent cervix, (which would cause premature labor) but when it closed up- wondered if they had misread the ultrasounds. Luke cruised in at 3 1/2 weeks early (perfect timing- no NICU) and was a healthy boy. (minus the gluten intolerance!). Life went on, chaos accompanied, but slowly it got easier. We got into our routine, found our strengths and begun working very well with one another. We had to -with 2 under two. We discovered how to communicate without disrespecting one another or throwing jabs. We learned how to appreciate one another for efforts, big and small and to be considerate of outside circumstances. We learned to love one another- more than the feeling- but the choice. Our lives became joyful in the midst of chaos. Slowly the chaos disappeared (it tends to revisit time to time) and we found that much of it was temporary.
It is scary considering traveling back to a time of hardship. Babyworld. Can't say that it's my favorite. It's not Jer's, that's for sure. Interrupting a time of contentment, a time of potty trained kids, and being able to sit through a whole movie- amazing. But I pray that- we will learn to work together and get through it just like we did before. That God will equip us with all that we need to give our children, each other and ourselves the love, rest, and respect that we all long for.
So today, on my holiday birthday, (which yes, is often blended into Christmas) I was blessed with so much. Jer left on Friday night to spend the weekend with his best friend in Denver. The friend's parents flew him up there and they went to a Nugget's game and had a great weekend. J texted me with directions to my present this morning. Of course they would be on top of a cabinet that my eyes will never be able to see even with a chair. I dusted off my sleeve when I got down and looked at a small teal notebook. Inside were more directions to presents in the garage. But I held in my hands the ultimate gift that any mother, wife, grandmother would melt at. One page of this book would be enough, but there were 30 pages. Granted I have a unique man who is not skilled at the typical male aspirations, (carpentry, mechanics, killing rodents of any kind.....) but he carries gifts that many women desire all their lives for their husbands to acquire. He can plan dates, 3-4 step dates, theme dates, cheap dates, expensive dates,.....creative dates. He can buy gifts, practical gifts, special gifts and elaborate gifts. He is thoughtful, creative, romantic, and expressive. And he is a writer. He can communicate so well in his writing. So many women just want to know what the man is thinking. I am no exception. But every once in awhile, he blesses me with a gift that lets me inside of that world.
Inside the notebook was a cover page entitled: TAKING OFF THE MASK: A father's hopes, dreams, and prayers for his sons. There was a precious picture taped on of the boys. I turned the pages to find a prayer for each day. I just finished reading the whole thing and cried, cried, cried. I could continue to cry if I thought about it more. It was a mature father seeking help and wisdom for the upbringing of his sons. I can't begin to tell you enough about it for you to understand the depth of it. I felt like I was reading a book- only it was my husband, talking about my kids- which made it that much more special and emotional. He talked about his feelings about baby #3 and the fears and reservations he had. He grew each day with each prayer and landed on trusting God with the future- it being the only thing that would preserve his happiness and peace. It was an incredible gift that I will always cherish.
So here I am, 27. I am blessed with a great family, (we've had a great time with Papa and Grandma, I'll post pictures later), 2 amazing kids, (despite the terrible two's) a new special blessing on the way, and a husband that completes me and works so hard at making me happy and being the best father and husband that he can be.- I guess 16 was a fun time. But I wouldn't trade this life any day.........(as long as girl's weekends and date nights continue.....)


Sorry for the novel! I'll post holiday pics later!