Mercy-Kingdom Experiment

So the next beatitude was on mercy. Such a deep, complicated concept. ----Yet soooooo simple. I was excited, but challenged by this week's experiments and it got me reflecting on many of my actions and thoughts. I've studied "grace" before (which is very similar to mercy) and really enjoyed being challenged but the book, What's So Amazing About Grace? by Philip Yancy. I dusted it off and reread some of it and really enjoyed it all over again. We get lost in our every day journeys and even when we love and forgive others, we still don't naturally have grace and mercy. (at least I don't.) It has to be so purposeful and habitual, to make it a reflex--to love and forgive someone before they are sorry, before they ask, before they recognize their shortcomings. Mercy. If we all got what we deserved--- it would not be pleasant.
So, one of the first challenges was to buy some gift cards to restaurants and have them in your car, for when you come across someone begging for food or money. I loved this idea! That way-- you aren't stressing about giving them money, or not and the guilt....and all of it. I got some Subway ones so I could get multiple ones without it needing to be $25 to afford a meal. The thought that often crosses my mind is---if I can't be generous with what God gave me, how am I showing His love to others? Yet- my front yard is not covered with money trees, and I wonder about the line between generosity and responsibility. So, I come back to mercy. Instead of me thinking- Why aren't you checking out the homeless shelters and the endless resources that we have locally to help care for you? Why are you out here asking for money, when there is hot food-free to you inside there?- I want to think..... I need to be Christ to this person. stop my judgements, and love them...who knows where they came from, where they've been. --what battles they have struggled with.

So the killer part is last night we were in Boise, and we saw someone! but.......the gift cards were in the other car. wah whahhhhhh.
Another challenge was to look up sex offenders in the area and send an anonymous letter of encouragement to them with a gift card. Whoa. Now Jer works with this clientele day in and day out. He has to become calus to their promises of change and search for evidence and reform. So this was a difficult concept for him, I think. He sees how it destroys generations to come. Yet- most are created from their past of being abused. They start off innocent and helpless and they are a victim, so the cycle continues as they grow and begin doing it themselves. I looked up the local police roster on them. Wow. There are s.o. m.a.n.y.....
"How do I choose?" I asked Jer. He suggested that I pick the one closest to us. Fortunately, there weren't any in our subdivision, but my school area was riddled with them. So I chose a man. He was about 60. (My parent's age....) He had sad eyes in his picture. He looked clean and it just felt painful thinking of his pain, his victim's pain, and their family's pain. His crime? Child rape.
When I told Jer- he reacted....."What? That's the worst there is." "So God doesn't have mercy for him?" I asked...He quickly replied, "Yes, yes he does." Can you imagine if you were the mom of that child? This would be a whole different study. I am grateful that I'm just an outsider, trying to show love. So I sat down with my card and had no idea what to write. Jer came back from working out in the morning and I was still in my chair with a blank card, and I asked, "What do I write?"
He said, "Tell him that he's redeemable. He still has value. He's not worthless and that you forgive him." and so....I did. I loved that word. Redeemable. Not like a coupon that has expired. We are always redeemable. A different thought- than what I normally mentally label sex offenders. Especially thinking about him as a person that was hurting, searching for worth or any forgiveness from society. I don't think I really need to say this, but mercy doesn't mean, that I would have him babysit my children. Mercy doesn't mean that he has no consequence for his actions. I'm talking about forgiving, loving, and not disowning because of sin. I think of God's love like I think of a mom's love. My kids could do almost anything.....and my hope would be that I would still love them. It wouldn't be easy. (especially if it was horrendous, like murder or something awful) I hope that I would never give up on them or lose hope in their future. That's how God feels about all of us. He loves me no more than he loves John. (which is my code name for the man). Isn't that crazy? I may think that God and I are soooo tight and I may honor him (at times, - I'm sure I disappoint him at times, too) but he still loves me as much as he loves John. wow.
crazy.
Now the Bible does talk about God's judgements, etc.....don't mistaken me for saying that he won't have to account for his actions. But I'm talking about love, value, worth.
I sent the card. I prayed for the Holy Spirit to prepare his heart for the card and for whatever reason I chose him. The strangest thing about this challenge is I'm not building a relationship with him because it's anonymous. But I've thought about sending more card later, like at Christmas or something? I dunno. Our friends had sent a letter to a neighbor (not a registered SO)- who was a widower and always seemed alone and grumpy. He ended up coming over to their house and thanking them saying, "Nobody does this sort of thing anymore! I just thank you guys so much...." and it has began a relationship. :)

I've really been praying that God would give me grace tinted glasses to see through. People are hurting all around. And the cycle continues especially when they feel they are unforgiven and unloved. It's made me examine all my relationships, and made me wonder if I'm holding onto anything that I shouldn't.

Gotta go for now.......time to take the fam to donuts!