(sigh) Today I just feel like I'm dragging. I don't know what the majority of it is. Maybe it's just been really hectic lately- and I'm super tired. Maybe it was just a long day at school and I didn't have energy for my own kids when I got home and I just need a breather. I'm struggling to know what kind of outlook to have on school. The big picture just continues to haunt me as impossible. Granted- as I have shared, this year my class has been exceptionally challenging. But even without that- there are so many elements that no matter how many strategies we use, how many resources we have, the end result is the same. There is just so much pressure, from so many sides, all the time, that it seems like you are stripped of all the passion, energy, and enthusiasm for actual teaching and loving the kids. I am counting down the days til summer when I can just concentrate on my own family, my home and my "evening and weekend job".....Anyway- it was a tough day- it's been a super busy week, and when I got home today- I felt so exhausted. Almost like crying. Not- because anything specifically was wrong- just because I think a needed a breather- a release. (Can I get a holla for the stress relief of a plain and simple cry- even without warrant or reason- my favorite place is the shower. It's been awhile though- I might be due.) I wasn't able to go running either because we were hosting a bridal shower at school. That would have probably helped.
Tomorrow we have a field trip. We'll see how that goes. I just pray for God to bless me with an unconditional attitude towards the kids, despite the outside circumstances that seem to interfere. I pray for some kind of impact, influence, or encouragement that I can give them. I pray for their success, in whatever form it may be. I pray for my outlook, my perspective and my spirit to be filled with God's strength and mercy so that I won't be one more person in their life that gives up.
And I pray for chocolate to fall from the sky like manna.
6 comments:
Have your cry! It's God's first medical remedy for women! Does wonders: wears us out for a good sleep, and sometimes scares the family into giving us a little time alone!
Oh Yes- Bring the chocolate!!! I pray for you often- way up here in the mountians. I have the best release cries in the shower too. Been feeling one coming on myself! Would suggest we do it together, but- well- somethings just need to be done alone (:
oh sister, you are speaking STRAIGHT to me. I love teaching, I really do, but I hate that somedays are so draining I have nothing left for my real loves. There is a serious reason why teachers get summers off-we have to work 120% throughout the year...have a Dove chocolate on me. (I'm munching on one as I type-they hang out ever so nicely in my top drawer at school)
I totally hear ya! Sometimes the best remedy simply is a good cry, for no reason and every reason all at the same time. Chocolate manna is one of my favorite images of heaven! There's a reason why those yellow bags of Nestle's choc. chips are more than just baking ingredients in my home...they're also a perfect midnight snack! Hang in there. :o)
So sorry you have been feeling down Joy! I will be looking forward to seeing you soon though! And I'll give you a piece of real chocolate!:)
ps I am cracking up at the thought of you and A in the shower together crying.....
Ditto on the shower cry. Why is that such a conducive place to weep?
Chocolate is my therapeutic food of choice also.
Hang on, only a few more weeks. :)
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